In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
