he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think i have herpe
just one?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
