You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it glows. i had to have it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
