i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
