I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize