Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
