saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
