yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
