Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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