Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
