Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
