No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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