what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
