Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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