when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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