gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
