Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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