another moral hangover. fuck.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
