Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize