I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
