Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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