never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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