I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
