i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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