I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
