wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
