She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
