I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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