OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am available for nakedness
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
