Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
