Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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