jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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