maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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