I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize