What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
