is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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