It's like a parade of train wrecks.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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