The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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