i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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