I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think your dad took our porno
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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