Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
