He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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