just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize