that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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