scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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