D3 body, D1 cock
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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