I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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