Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
