Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
