we have pet lesbian snakes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
