ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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