Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The ass gains better be worth it
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