He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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