walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
