my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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