just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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