dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
bring money and cleavage
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
