My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
