she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
