I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
