you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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